Anderson, Chris – Everything #1

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Everything #1 (with Mark Hensley)

I said in the review for Try Adventure that I doubted that all of Chris’s comics would be as great as that one, as it was a pile of undistilled awesome.  I would like to happily report that, as of my reading the second comic in this pile, I was wrong.  Sure, it’s possible that some of the ones left to read are going to suck, but at this point I highly doubt it.  This is the story of, well, everything, and it boggles my mind that there’s so much crap in the movie theaters over the summer when somebody could just get the rights to this comic and have the biggest summer blockbuster of all time.  This is going to be a tricky thing to review, as I don’t want to give away a single thing about this comic.  The real joy of this issue was in seeing what Chris and Mark were going to come up with on each page.  Still, I do have to give a few things away, don’t I?  I can’t just tell everybody to go out there and buy this and expect to have it happen.  OK, fine.  The comic starts off with you (yes, you) waiting for your estranged father to meet you for dinner.  Your ex is serving you, and you can tell she wants to get back together with you.  Your father arrives, and he turns out to be Mike Tyson.  Sadly, there’s very little time to enjoy your meeting, as the kitchen staff is trying to impregnate a gorilla with human sperm.  This leads to a kitchen brawl, as you turn into an Ankylosaurus (thanks to your amulet) and Mike Tyson (who wears his boxing gloves wherever he goes) obliterates the doctor.  You swat another doctor with your tail, knocking him through the window, into space and directly into the sun.  Sadly, it turns out the gorilla’s intentions were pure and  he wanted to be just like us.   I have just described the first five (5) pages of this 28 page comic.  I haven’t even mentioned the lizard men, your concert or the fact that every woman in this comic would clearly love the chance to sleep with you.  I’ve said it before, but only when it’s been completely true: it’s comics like these that keep me happy to sit down and work on this website every day.   If you have a sense of humor you’re only hurting yourself by not checking this out.  No price is listed, I’d guess $2, but really any price he asks for this is more than fair.