I Am Only A Foreigner Because You Do Not Understand
Programming note: this book is debuting at SPX in a couple of months, so while the link at the title does not lead to their new book yet, it will soon. And now, allow me to wander into the review, where I will also wander with my words. L. has been a favorite at this here website for many years. Jumbly Junkery, Unrequited Monsters, and of course Flocks (which should have won all the awards), so you’d better believe that this one moved to the top of the review pile (which is more of a precarious mound at this point than a pile, but you get my meaning). The only drawback to always topping yourself is that it leads to heightened expectations, and I’m happy to report that L. managed to somehow get even better this time around. There have been several changes in their life since Flocks, and this is a collection of several short pieces that depict some of them. Where to even begin? In the big picture, L. is still coming to terms with several events from their life, and some of them will always be haunting. They’re also better off in a lot of ways than they have been in years, which is a persistent undercurrent running through even the most difficult stories. Subjects in here include trying to put into words just what it’s like feeling like your body has never been quite yours, getting through covid, learning to accept their excess skin after losing a lot of weight, a happy memory of their mother just before we learn how rare such a thing really was in their childhood, being alarmed about seeing their mother’s face in the mirror whenever they shave, trying to imagine exactly the body they wanted, learning to live with what was taken out during gender reassignment surgery (and having to pay for nipples because insurance apparently deemed them “optional”), the bittersweet reality of seeing so many younger trans people being so comfortable with who they are so quickly when it was always difficult for L., and one good thing about having to share custody of their kids. And much more, obviously, but it seems silly to dig too deeply into the specifics months before it even comes out. To anybody who’s trans or questioning, this is once again required reading, as is just about anything L. does, because their books as a whole tell quite the story over the years. And if you’re not trans or questioning but just enjoy a great, if occasionally heartbreaking series of stories, I’d call this mandatory for you too. $15.95 (out in early September 2023)
