Collins, Stephen – The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil

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The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil

If there is any justice left in the world (and that’s debatable, based on recent historical events (it’s 2017 right now, future readers)), The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil will still be read and remembered decades from now as one of the best children’s books of all time. It’s also not necessarily for children, or at least it’s certainly not exclusively for children. It’s been ages since a book charmed me this completely, and I say that as somebody who has read some damned good graphic novels recently. But every part of this, from Stephen’s innovative use of panels and dialogue, to his willingness to let giant inky blackness speak for itself, to the reactions of civilians as things spiral out of control, is just about perfect. This is the story of a man who is in Here. This book also has a fantastic map: there’s Here, The Sea, The Edge of the Sea, and There. Our hero lives in Here, and it’s the only place he’s ever known. Everything is ordered, everything is neat, and everybody knows exactly what’s expected of them. Oh, and everybody is terrified of There. Our hero is hairless except for his eyebrows and one stray hair on his face that can’t be shaved down or plucked without immediately growing back. He works, along with lots of other people in Here, at a giant corporation, doing something with charts that he’s not completely sure means anything at all. But he likes his life, his time spent sketching people while listening to one Bangles song over and over again. Until one day, the charts at his job all look different, and he’s forced to give a presentation on why that’s the case. On that day, something snaps in our hero, and his beard starts to grow. Quickly, violently, and completely out of control. I want to leave as much as possible of what’s left for the reader to discover, because this was a joy throughout, but the cascading effects on the rest of the citizens of Here was expertly done. Buy this book, share it with friends, have them do the same. This deserves to be seen as widely as possible. $20